wylddaze
Beware the lollipop of Mediocrity - Lick it once and You'll Suck Forever.
My Life with Gloria Gaynor
Tags: 
survivinggloria gaynor
survivinggloria gaynorI had so many things to write here tonight but it's 4 in the morning and while this would make a great blues song, it isn't. I have been on E-bay again.
-WARNING WILL ROBINSON-
Do NOT get onto E-bay while you are V-tired and it is 4 A.M.
So anyway I have decided to share a song that my lawyer friend Jenni sent me. She has waaaaaaaay too much time on her hands. It is sung to the tune of that fabulous Gloria Gaynor song of survival and success: "I will survive"
- sidenote: why is it that lawyers are so hot in bed? Any anecdotes about lawyers?-
So here it is:
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I
grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t,
Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think that I wouldn't catch you out, Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours, Is to stick it with a tooth pick and dip it in tomato sauce
chorus......
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