Dear readers,

I have to tell you something as a "depressee". Knowing that the disease is in you and not a part of you makes a lot of difference. Especially when the gloom descends upon you, it is helpful to remember that you are being affected by something outside of your control and that it is not you that is feeling down for no reason but a "thing" that is attacking you. It may not be physical but it is real. It is the enemy and you must fight it, if you don't, it wins and you lose - everything.

We have things in common you and I, (not looking at anyone in particular here... but you know who you are) I used to "cut" too when I was in my teens. I think it was because I wanted someone to take notice. Of course no one ever did.

Be of good cheer little friend and resist the urge to drink it away. I tried that and it doesn't work, it just makes things worse and you'll know what I mean if you've ever woken up in a pool of your own vomit and blood.

 Did you know that depression (or melancholia as I preffer to call it) is just rage turned inwards instead of outwards. "Rage at what" you ask. Well, it can affect people that way when the family just doesn't seem to care about you and doesn't seem to want to do anything but make rules for you to follow. There are many reasons why children develop this rage, sometimes it's mental abuse sometimes it's physical abuse and sometimes it comes from being made to feel ignored or valueless.

In an experiment in the 80s three groups of lab rats were placed in isolation and treated in different ways. One group were given lots of good food and played with and had interaction with each other. The second group were given little food, handled roughly and kept in dirty cages. The third group were given food and water and clean cages but had no interaction with others or with the handlers.

All the rats in groups one and two thrived. All the rats in group three became nuerotic, nervous, even psychotic and starved, even though there was food for them to eat. The lesson here is that even rats will develop melancholia if they aren't given some kind of love; even if the love is harsh and mean.

So this being the season of love and joy, share the love people! Talk to people you might not ordinarily talk to and really mean it. I know a couple of guys who go out to malls every christmas and give away chrissy cards they've written greetings in, to perfect strangers. Well, as perfect as any stranger can be... after all no one's perfect. While you're at it remember this, more people will suicide at this time of year than any other because they are lonely and sad, you can't help them all but have a toast in their honour when you're with your families.

HO HO HO... no not you, the other one.