Beware the lollipop of Mediocrity - Lick it once and You'll Suck Forever.

Things I love about living in Canberra:

1- waking up in the morning with the sun coming in, dapled by the fig tree outside my window and watching a hot-air balloon float gently past; so low that I can hear the people in the basket laughing and talking. Pure magic.

 

And now humour:

 "Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
 house."

 "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

 "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.

 "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

 "Si, Senor,that's the one."

 "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "What did
 he die from?"

 "From eating rotten meat, Senor"

 "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

 "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

 "Dead horse? What dead horse?"

 "The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the
 water cart."

 "Are you insane? What water cart?"

 "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"

 "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

 "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught
 on fire."

 "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the
 candle for?"

 "For the funeral, Senor."

 WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"

 "Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I
 thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

 SILENCE...................

 "Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"