It is time! Time I say! It is time all Australians stood up and took their heads out of their butts and admitted that gumbyments have done some pretty bad things in our name.

We here in Oz, like to think that we haven't actually done very much to anyone in the outside world and that they therefore, shouldn't hate us. The simple facts are that we have done some pretty bad things and we are making a name for ourselves in the world that we might not actually like.

Take as an example the way we treated our "friends" in East Timor. Tweny something years ago when the Indonesians wanted to invade Timor they asked the U.S. if they would object and they said " what do we care we have our hands full in the middle east. Do whatever you like"

Then they asked us if we minded and we said " well no problem really, we don't want to get into an argument with you in case it starts a war and god knows we wouldn't want that."

So the poor folks in Timor were invaded and the atrocities began. Some of these atrocities were filmed by ABC TV and some of their journalists were killed for being there. The Ozzie gumbyment did bugger all to find the killers and did what they always do when one of us is held or killed overseas... head down to the bar to think it over for tweny years. Let's face it if you're an Ozzie and you are in trouble overseas, you're buggered.

My fondest memory of that time is the night they aired on national news networks everywhere, the signing of the Timor Straights Oil Agreement between our own foreign minister of the time Gareth-can't get my hand off my dick- Evans and his Indonesian counterpart, Someguywhose nameIcan'tremember. There they both were, smiling and drinking champagne at 30,000 feet in an aircraft flying over the Timor straights. They were toasting the agreement that allowed Oz to share in the oil that Indonesia was now plundering from the conquered Timorese people. That was our 30 pieces of silver for selling out our "friends". The same friends who had helped us during the war with Japan. the excuse we used then according to Gareth was: "the Timorese are not capable of governing themsleves and must accept the protection of their nearest major power, Indonesia." Thanks Gareth, I'm sure the thousands of murdered Timorese were grateful for that protection.

Fast forward to 7 years ago and we are suddenly helping our "friends" again by getting the Indonesian brothers out of Timor.. well, half of it anyway, East Timor. What prompted this change of heart? Mmmm a little thing called world opinion which was being turned against us by the likes of Jose Ramos Horta (who I've met, I'm very proud to say.) who travelled all over the world and especially the UK and the US to beg for help for his people. When world opinion finally caught us out, we were obliged to help the Timorese and we did, but not because of our sense of justice.

How must it have tasted in the mouths of the Timorese to thank us for help that was 20 years too late and had to be forced from us? How hollow our friendship must seem to them, how greedy our intention. If you think this is the end of it you're wrong. East Timor should by rights be one of the wealthiest countries on earth with their oil reserves in the Timor Straight but they don't get most of the money from it... We do! The new Foreign Minister of the day, Alexander Downer bartered ( sic..bullied) an agreement out of the Timorese gumbyment for a larger share of the oil produced in return for Ozzie soldiers protecting East Timor from their snarling neighbours across the border. Good business yes but poor foreign policy also.

So between the smiling evil of Gareth and the dodering bullying of Alexander, we have managed to royally screw the nice people next door. The moral of this story is, if you live next door to an ozzie, watch your back! Of course we're not all like that, most of us just look the other way.